cats · life · musings · Uncategorized

My Cats

I wanted to write about a lot of things last year, but October to December didn’t give me the chance to do so. I was buried with projects from work (which I’m totally thankful for btw) and a lot of other things, such as the preparations for my father’s birthday and cooking for the holidays. We also rescued Picha and I had to foster her for some time before bringing her over to Loon’s place.

It might be too late to post about the other things now, but I will try to bring them up if any opportunity arises in the future. I would like to have a fresh start by introducing my cats. I was supposed to do this way back and now, I’m glad I finally gathered their photos together.

I am only including the cats I took care of since 2013. It seems to be the most convenient and organized point to start from.

I started rescuing kittens in my childhood. I hated seeing newly-born kittens disposed in plastic bags. The adults didn’t allow us, but my cousins and I really wanted to help them, so we did it in secret. We built little houses for them in the empty lot, and we sneaked out food every day. I just wish we were more capable back then. I had to move to Manila for studies when I was 16, and I had to stay in dormitories. After graduation, I had to work there too. I eventually resided in Japan for a couple of years. Needless to say, I was not able to rescue any cat within that timeframe. I started taking care of cats again since 2013. That’s why I figured it would be great to start the list from this period.

To keep the list short, I’m also excluding the kittens that didn’t survive past 1 month old. Of course, they are always in my heart and I will forever remember them. However, there are just too many, since the first few weeks of survival are so critical. During my journey, I also learned a lot about kitten care. If you ever plan to rescue, don’t hesitate to drop me a message, and I will share everything that I know that might help.

Since I have so many cats, I will try to keep their introductions brief too. (In the middle of writing everything, I realized this might actually become my longest blog entry so far. hahaha) I rarely talk about my cats, since people might get sick of hearing too much about them, or might not care at all. But hey, this is my blog and I write this for myself so bear with it!

These are my current cats.
  • LIIT – She was originally my neighbor’s cat. She first peeked in our veranda, and started coming over everyday when I gave her food. She often played with me and slept on my lap. Eventually, she decided to live here for good. We named her Liit because of her small frame and youthful looks. Despite looking like a 1 year old kitten, she’s actually the oldest of the bunch (along with Monching). Sometimes, we also call her Estrella. She is Tetoy’s most beloved kitty. She recently had a toothache but she’s doing better now. Favorite toy: velvet slippers. She’s also a master of smartphone games for cats. She’s now spayed.
  • MONCHING – Liit’s brother. After a week or so, he started coming along with Liit. Despite being beaten up by Tetoy back in the days, he’s the aggressive boss of our turf now. He loves female cats, especially Liit (siscon), and he kills kittens on his free time. He also managed to kill Tetoy and Liit’s only kitten. At one point, we wondered what his real name could be, and we came up with something random: Monching. We also call him “Rain Lord” because he used to meow so hard everytime it was going to rain, as if he was summoning it. He loves to peek through my bedroom window like a stalker.
  • MINIMOE – a.k.a Amazona. She’s so pretty and the male cats love her, but despite looking like that, she can really fight like a tom. Her mother was a stray cat named “Moe”. She looked like a tiny version of her when she was a kitten, so we called her Minimoe. The neighbor’s cats love her so much they keep on chasing her even if she’s already spayed. She’s a tough cookie but she’s very sweet when socializing with humans. She loves being rubbed all over, and would purr and lie down for more. She’s too mature for playtime.
  • CAO – We used to bully him by playfully calling him “ugly” when he was a kitten. He has small eyes. We call him “Cao” because he looks so much like Kaw. He’s not fond of dry cat food. He loves cheese and other white foods, such as lumpia wrappers, but he’s only allowed to eat a tiny bit of them. He loves to sleep on laps and he hates other cats who invade his personal space. He’s gentle though, he tries not to hurt anyone seriously, especially kittens. Picha hates him for no reason. He gets excited and playful when I spread out a wide piece of fabric on the floor. He loves to sleep in my room on cold mornings. He rubs on me and purrs a lot before lying down to sleep.
  • CHOCKY – He is Cao’s younger bro. When he was a kitten, he looked so much like Cao, so we named him “Chocky”, from the biscuit sticks that look like Pocky. He is a brave tomcat and he’d fight other cats that try to invade our territory. He’s gentle with humans. He used to hate Cao. He loves his elder sisters, Spots and Minimoe. When he was small, he used to be aloof and would run away and hiss when approached, but he loves me now. He likes to hangout on the roof every morning, he even sleeps on the mango tree sometimes. He loves sleeping in my room too.
  • CHOKITO – We thought she was a male cat, so we named her Chokito. She was born next to Chocky, so we copied her name from that. She’s the daughter of Spots and Monching. She doesn’t meow that much. She’s always alone doing her own business. She’s quiet but she’s probably the most playful. She loves chasing lizards and insects. She even goes up the roof at night to look for them. I can always hear her pounce on my window. Spayed.
  • POOCHAI – Liit’s only daughter. She’s a little bit bitchy to other cats and she hits them randomly when they are passing by. But she’s playful when you offer her toys, or when she’s playing with her kittens. She was supposed to get spayed with the others, but she managed to escape from the cage the night before our trip. She’s not spayed yet, and because of it, Chingkay and Kookai were born. I’m planning to get her spayed by next month. Poochai was a random name I saw on Facebook, and I thought it was amusing, so I named her that.
  • BEBANG – Poochai’s eldest son. I thought he was a female cat so I named him Bebang. It sounds like a random neighbor’s name. That’s because he used to live on my neighbor’s house too. He often came over my place when he was a kitten, and he’d always sit on my lap on lazy afternoons. People always confuse him with Jyan, but I always tell them that he has a more stripey coat. Jyan is his favorite playmate too. Just like Jyan, he loves chasing my legs when I’m walking across the veranda.
  • SHIKIN – Spot’s daughter. She’s Jyan’s childhood friend. They used to play together and sleep together as kittens, and they looked like siblings because they were the same age. She now loves to sleep with his younger brother, Jiego. Recently, she learned how to call me through my window every morning too. She tries to play with me by scratching me lightly. We named her “Shikin” because her coat makes her look like fried chicken. Spayed.
  • JYAN – Someone left him near our house when he was a kitten. I wasn’t planning to take him in because I got so many cats already. I was waiting for somebody else to adopt him, and secretly gave him food at first, but nobody came. It was about to rain and he was starting to get weak. I saw him hiding behind the plants when I went out to look for him that evening. It was a painful sight to see. It seemed like he was just waiting for his death to come. He didn’t resist at all when I picked him up gently. As soon as we got home, I offered him food and I was happy when he ate a lot. He did his best to get better from colds too. He’s a survivor. I asked my nephew to name him, and he said “John”. I changed the spelling to “Jyan”, because it sounds more cat-like. He turned out to be my sweetest cat. He loves being carried around. He leans over when I kiss him. He purrs loudly when I sing mellow songs as a lullaby. He calls me through my window everyday, and would always eat, sleep, and hangout in my room. He wakes me up every morning around 5-7am. He’s always so playful. He playfully bites me at random times and he rolls over the floor when I’m approaching. Loon calls him “chinito” because of his eyes. Favorite toys: paperbag, undergarments, my furry headband
  • BADONG – People always confuse him with Cao, Chocky and Minimoe. He’s currently the fattest among them. He looks so much like Cao when he was younger. Badong, Berting and Bogart, used to be scared of humans when they were kittens, but they eventually opened up. Badong used to play by himself, but he started bugging Bogart ever since Berting died. It seemed like he was trying to cheer him up. He’s always present for breakfast, and he goes back to eat whenever he gets hungry. He wants to sleep on the lap too, but he always gives way to other cats, so he sleeps beside me when I’m sitting instead. When I’m idle or spacing out, he’d randomly scratch or bite my hand or legs lightly. I named him “Badong” because it sounds like a thug’s name. I like naming my cats like that because they’re cute.
  • BOGART – Ever since he was a kitten, he’d always bite me and Loon everytime he gets close to us. Everytime he sees my hand near him, he’d scratch or bite it, so to counter that, I’d lightly pinch his ears together to make him look like a bunny. He loves attention. When I’m patting another cat, he’d claw on my hand so I’d pat him too. He loves sleeping on my lap. He’s pretty sociable and would sleep with other cats too.  Berting used to be his favorite cat, and when he passed away, he seemed sad for some time. I thank Badong for always accompanying him. He’s now back to his cheerful self. He always waits for breakfast. I named him “Bogart” because it sounds like a thug’s name in action films too.
  • JIEGO – Monching and Spots’ youngest son. He loved to hangout with his mother when she was still alive. Now he just stays with Shikin. They always groom each other. Jiego is sometimes picky when it comes to food, but he can never say no to a certain brand of dry food. He used to hiss on me when he was a kitten and it was so adorable. He likes being around me now and he sleeps on my lap sometimes. He’s also starting to appreciate headpats and body rubs. His favorite sleeping spots are our roof or our neighbor’s roof. Every morning, I wave at him to call him for breakfast. He loves drinking from the dipper when I water the plants. We named him after Wildflower’s Diego. We also call him “birb”, because he looks like a bird when he’s idle.
  • CHINGKAY – Poochai’s daughter. She is still afraid of people and she runs away when approached, but I’ll make sure to make her love me eventually. She loves playing with her younger sister, Kookai. I named her Chingkay because I randomly saw this name in Facebook, and it sounds like Poochai. She’s also scheduled to be spayed next month.
  • KOOKAI – Poochai’s youngest and last kitten. She’s also cautious when approached, but I know that she will learn how to socialize eventually. She loves playing with her sister, Chingkay. I named her Kookai because I also saw this name in Facebook, and it sounds like Poochai and Chingkay. I’ll probably get her spayed 8 months later.
  • PANOT – He started coming over last week. It was so sudden. I was just calling my other cats when he ran towards our house. He first observed me and meowed from a few meters away. The next day, he came faster than my other cats when he heard me calling. When I said “Hello~” and waved, he ran closer and climbed up the veranda. He allowed me to touch him immediately. I found out that he’s infected with fleas. For now, I keep on offering food because he always seems to be so hungry, even if I see our neighbor feeding him. My other cats hate him at the moment, especially Monching, Badong, and Chocky.  We named him “Panot” because his front markings make his head look bald.
The list won’t be complete without them.
  • DONG – The legendary boss cat. He lasted over a decade. He used to be a strong and active cat during his younger years. He roamed around the neighborhood, along with Mame and Spray. They always brought me “presents” which were a bit wilder than usual. Mountain mice, skinks, and even snakes. When Dong got older, he just got fond of sitting on people’s laps. He was so addicted to it he’d come running as soon as he saw someone sitting down. That’s where he got his nickname “Dong” or kandong (to sit on someone’s lap)Sometimes, he even pushed people down so he could sleep on their laps. Dong probably died because of old age.
  • MAME – Another fierce female cat. She used to hangout with Dong and Spray during their hunts. Despite being tough, she can be playful and she loves everyone a lot, especially Tetoy. They used to play together. She loved to groom other cats when they stood beside her. I was told that Mame used to have difficulty when it comes to taking care of her kittens, so they usually died after being born. When she got older, finally, one of her kittens managed to live. We named her “Vacuum”. Mame also took care of Cao when his mother left him in our place. Mame died because of an unknown plague that hit them in year 2016. (I believe it’s a plague because Mame, Spray, Dong, and Tetoy died next to each other, and my other cats back then were so sick too.) She left because she didn’t want to take any medicine.
  • SPRAY – Mame and Tetoy’s brother. They were still kittens when I left for Jp. I was really fond of them, and I felt so sad about having to leave them. I missed them a lot. I sent them packages, like beds, treats, and toys, but I was still sad because I wasn’t able to take care of them personally. When I returned to Ph years later, I was so happy to see them again, alive and well. Out of the three, Spray grew up to be the most quiet, and he was not as playful as Mame and Tetoy. He was a territorial tomcat, and would spray everywhere, so he got that nickname. Despite that, he was still a sweet cat who also loved to sleep on my lap. Spray was diagnosed with kidney and liver damage, and was confined for a while. He seemed to be getting better, but his health suddenly failed when we took him home. He was the first and perhaps the only cat that made me consider euthanasia. It was really hard and traumatic for me, since he had to suffer from several seizures before dying.
  • TETOY – Tetoy was the cat who became the closest to me. Mame and Spray loved to go out when they were younger. On the contrary, Tetoy chose to be a homebody. Just like Liit, he used to have a small frame and he looked much younger than his actual age. I often played with him back then. One day, he suddenly went missing and a few weeks later, he was so thin and dirty when he returned. He was also infested with ticks and earmites. I brought him to the vet to get his skin treated. When I kept him in my room to monitor, I noticed his irregular urine amount, and because of it, I brought him for another check-up and he was then diagnosed with kidney disease. It was chronic. The vet frankly told me that there’s no “cure” for it, and the only thing I could do was to extend his life. I had also read about similar cases in the internet, and I became even more paranoid, because they said that it’s a hopeless case, and that the cat would continue to lose body mass and get weak until he dies. Despite that, I refused to give up. I was not ready to let him go. I worked hard to support his diet and medication, and fed him through a syringe (without a needle) until he got better. That became our routine for about a year. The vet was surprised because he got so fat after several months, and she said it’s such a dramatic change. I was so happy about it. In the end, I allowed him to go out and enjoy the world again. I’m so glad that he managed to enjoy his life until the last moment. Tetoy was a brave, obedient, and playful cat. He was so in love with Liit. He used to stare at her all the time, and he always sat near her. He also protected her from other toms. They were our favorite pairing. ❤ He used to have an archenemy, my neighbor’s cat whom we called Kepap because of his markings (probably Liit’s father). He seemed down when Tetoy passed away. Tetoy’s death had been the most painful to me. But I was so touched that he did his best to eat and drink what we fed him until the very end. I’m thankful that he died peacefully and beautifully. Aside from “Tetoy”, we also called him “Shota”, “Senpai” or “Shuy”(for tabachuy).
  • KAW – He was like a rounin cat. He suddenly appeared and lived in our place. He became the boss tomcat when Dong was already too old to fight. We named him “Kaw” because his meows sounded like that. His eyes were always closed when he got older. He loved all of my other cats. He used to hangout with them and cuddle up with them when sleeping. And I find it funny that he is almost in every single picture with my other cats. One day, he was suddenly gone and I was so sad because I thought he might have died already. BUT while Loon and I were walking outside one time, we came across him! I saw him walking there casually and he just IGNORED us when we called him. (=_=) My mother told me that she always spotted him in my neighbor’s place. I heard they always fed him and he loved sleeping under their table. Well, good for him, I guess. lol Probably deceased by now.
  • MOE – She was another stray cat who just peeked in my place and decided to live here eventually. I do regret not getting her spayed sooner because she produced a lot of kittens. But 1.)I didn’t know where she came from. I didn’t know if she was really a stray cat, or somebody owned her, and if it was really okay to have the operation without their permission. and 2.)I couldn’t find a good, trustworthy vet in our town back then. She was Minimoe, Spots, Cao and Chocky’s mother. We named her “Moe” because her eyes were so round and huge and made her look moe. One day, she just left and moved somewhere else. Probably deceased by now.
  • VACUUM – She was Mame’s last kitten and the only one who managed to grow up a little. She had a lot of appetite when she was a kitten, that’s why we named her “Vacuum”. Unfortunately, when she got older her body became weak and she didn’t eat enough to sustain her health. She didn’t like to take medicines and supplements either. She was Cao’s childhood friend. They used to be together all the time when she was alive.
  • BERTING – Just like Vacuum, he used to be fine when he was a kitten, but he eventually ate less and less. The vet said he seemed to have dental problems. I switched him to soft diet because of it. He seemed to be getting better, but one day, he suddenly disappeared without a trace (to die, probably). It was so hard for me to accept it. I was not able to say goodbye to him. When he was alive, he loved to hangout with Bogart. He also loved to sit on my lap, and would always look at the camera when I was taking a photo. We named him “Berting”, because just like “Badong” and “Bogart”, it sounds like a thug’s name.
  • SPOTS – She is Minimoe’s sister and just like her, she’s a fierce cat. Before she died, she always stayed with her son, Jiego and hangout with her little brother, Chocky. She loved to hangout in my room too. Actually, when she was younger, she was a bit mean, and she wasn’t fond of other cats or people. But one day, her personality suddenly changed. She loved headpats and body rubs, and being kissed on her head. She always slept close to me. She used to be a glutton during her younger years too, but it faded as she grew older. She always gave way to other cats, and she lost a lot of weight because of not having enough appetite. Even the supplements weren’t enough. She probably died because of natural causes as well. We named her “Spots” because of her coat pattern.
Loon’s cats are also close to my heart.
  • ZURA – Loon’s dark and deadly prince, a.k.a. void boi. I first met him at Loon’s family home, but I spent more time with him in Loon’s old apartment. Other people were scared of him because he was so fierce, but I was actually fond of Zura. Aside from being a black cat, which I obviously love *points at blog name*, I’m fond of fierce and chonky cats. I think he might have been pretty fond of me as well, since he always slept with me and Loon on her bed. Other people always pointed out his prominent jaw, but he was just fat. lol Outside the house, he was always cautious. Too cautious that he’d even run away from us too. He always kept on looking behind him and hiding behind the bushes. Loon named him Zura, based on Gintama’s Katsura. We also called him Charles because it suited him. He once snapped on Loon when he was having a bad mood after a cat fight. Her arm was terribly wounded, and she got 15 shots because of it. We still love Zura nonetheless! Favorite food: veggies, pancit, cordon bleu
  • GLORIA – He was Loon’s oldest family cat. He also lived over 10 years. I wasn’t able to spend a lot of time with Gloria, since he usually stayed in their kitchen. But everytime we met, I’d always pat him and sometimes gave him bits of food. He was such a nice cat. And yes, “he” because he’s actually male. They misgendered him when he was a kitten too. He used to fight with Zura, but toned down as he got older.
  • HISS – Loon’s top chonk. She got him, along with Hide, when they were kittens. They actually had another sister named Hooman, but she didn’t survive. Hiss dislikes other humans and hates to hangout around them. Human interaction stresses him out a lot. A lot! Loon even brought him to the vet because of it, only to find out that he’s in perfect health. Hiss is a playful cat until now. He loves doormats, and would always roll down so his chosen humans could rub his tummy. Pompom is Hiss’ favorite cat. He always stays beside her and grooms her like his wife. He also loves taking care of kittens. He became a father to Carrot, Freebie, and Picha. He loves all of Loon’s other cats, aside from his brother Hide. Loon named him “Hiss”, because he used to hiss at her when he was a kitten. We also call him “Bik”, short for biik or piglet.
  • HIDE – Another competitor for the top chonk spot. Hide became the next protector of their turf when Zura died. Hide is a clean freak and would meow at us when the room is so messy. He’s usually quiet, but he’s actually sociable. He loves to get along with Loon’s family members and visitors. Everytime we’re having fun, he calls out to us and comes near us to join, then he lies down in the middle while purring loudly. (lol) One time, we played a video of a kitten meowing and when he heard it, he was so concerned he looked for him everywhere the whole day. Hide loves to hang out in the kitchen, and eats whenever he pleases. He tries to act mature but he’s also playful when he’s in the mood for it. Loon named her “Hide” because he used to hide from her when he was a kitten. Favorite toy: mechanical mouse
  • CARROT – Loon met Carrot in her mom’s shop. She was a sweet stray cat who used to come over everyday because they kept on feeding her. Loon planned to keep her in the shop, because she was worried Hiss might not accept her. But it was dangerous outside, so she brought her home anyway. Surprisingly, Hiss got very fond of Carrot as well. He groomed her often and he became a father to her. Carrot looks so much like Hiss that people often get confused between them. Carrot seems to have a scar on her lower lip, but people love it because it makes her lips look pouty. Loon named her “Carrot” because of her coat color. Favorite hobby: gardening
  • POMPOM – Pompom used to roam around Loon’s place. She kept on walking on their roof for days. Loon offered her food, hoping she’d be able to find her way back home eventually, but she just kept on roaming around. When I arrived, we decided to get her to let her in the house because it was raining hard. She seemed to be afraid of people so it was so hard to lure her to get closer. We had to be extra careful because she might fall down the nearby river. When we finally got her, Loon made an effort to ask around and look for her owner, but nobody came. We suspected her old owner might have thrown her out because she seemed old and sick (her poop had blood back then). That, or they might have abused her and she just managed to escape. She seemed scared of people. We found out that behind her thick fur, she was actually sickly thin and she was infested with fleas. We immediately brought her for grooming and got her treated and spayed as well. The vet told us that she seemed to have given birth to lots of kittens, and one batch seemed to be recent. This supported one of our theories. Anyway, after getting spayed, her life of being used and abused is over. We made sure to give her lots of love and affection. Loon also fed her lots and fattened her up. Pompom is now a healthy and happy old cat.
  • FREEBIE –  When we went to the vet to bring Hiss for neutering, the vet handed her to us and asked us to carry her for a bit. She was so tiny back then, perhaps about a few weeks old. The vet told us that she only got her that morning. She was driving when the kitten suddenly crossed the street and she almost got run over. When the operation was over, she joked about giving her to us as a freebie. It seemed to be half-meant. It was a hard decision for Loon since the number of her cats had been increasing, but she was so fond of her, so we ended up taking her home (Loon put her inside her jumper. lol). In exchange, the vet offered free medical service, spay, and shots for her in the future. Pompom and Hiss served as Freebie’s mom and dad. They both took care of her everyday like their own kitten. Freebie is now a playful cat who loves carrying toys while running around. She loves to play with everyone, especially Carrot and Picha. She used to hate Picha but she’s her favorite cat now. They sleep on the same basket while hugging each other. Loon named her “Freebie” because she was a freebie, but we usually call her “Dak” short for pandak, “D1” or “Pibi”.
  • PICHA – The day after my father’s birthday, Loon and I went out for a short and casual date. While waiting for our pizza, we spotted a small kitten on the other side of the road. She seemed to be about a week old. We first observed if somebody else would adopt her. One guy sat down and gave her a pat, but he left after a minute of thinking. She kept on crawling around while meowing loudly, and we were worried she might get run over by passing vehicles. We emptied our bag to put her in and prepared to eat outside, in case she keeps on meowing. Loon picked her up and kept her inside her jacket for warmth. She seemed to like it because she stopped meowing and fell asleep. Her eyes were badly swollen and her face was covered with debris. We headed straight to the vet to have them cleaned up and to get her feeding supplies as well. The vets were nice because they provided us with free service. At first, Picha didn’t like drinking her milk through the bottle so we fed her through a syringe (without needle of course). Loon and I had to take turns because we had to feed her every 2 hours, round the clock. I had to foster her for a while when Loon went back to Cavite. We were planning to move her after a year or so, but unfortunately, she got constipated from the milk. The vets that we trust the most when it comes to internal issues are in Cavite, so I suddenly travelled all the way there to get her checked. After a change of milk and some medications, Picha is doing fine now. I am so glad that we managed to make her live, because kittens younger than a month have a very low survival rate. She’s a happy and healthy cat now, and she loves to play with everyone, especially Freebie. We named her “Picha” because we were eating pizza when we rescued her. We also call her “Boba” because her eyes look like boba pearls, “Uwang” because of the soound of her voice, and “D2”.

For several years, I’ve been posting about my dream of building a cat shelter in the future. It seems so far from now, but I’m glad I can finally make little steps towards it. I will continue to use my voice to convince people to open their doors to homeless stray cats instead of buying them. I know that some people might be fond of breeds, but puspins are just as beautiful and sweet. They need us more. Let us save their lives and protect them from cruelty. Let us make this world a much better place and give some love to helpless animals who are in need.

anime/manga · art/craft · cats · fashion · life · musings · photographs · random · Uncategorized


It’s my birth month again. Reminiscing about my teenage days, I remember I was planning to die before reaching 20. It wasn’t out of depression or anything back then. I simply didn’t want to get older. I used to enjoy my birthdays during childhood, but the excitement turned into confusion when I reached 14, when I thought I just wanted to stay youthful forever.

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I’m uploading these old photos because I don’t have enough time for a new shoot yet. These were taken by a friend about a decade ago. They are still my favorite. Photography: Cris Pangan (Circa 2008)

“Live free and die young with a beautiful corpse.”, I kept that in mind throughout my teenage days. There were times when I told people about my absurd ideals, and naturally, most of them just laughed it off and tried to talk me out of it. But I’m a person who’s not easily convinced, so I sticked with that thought for a while.

One day, I was chitchatting with a certain friend and when I mentioned it, she came up with a suggestion. She said, if I’m mainly concerned about the appearance, I could just look young. Age can just be a number. She even gave me some examples. I thought, hmm, yeah, reasonable enough. Okay.

I’m actually glad I’ve decided to keep on living. I’ve experienced more things and got to embrace the beauty and ugliness of the world. I’ve felt a lot more intense things and gained more knowledge along the way. (So, if you’re reading this right now and if for any reason, you’re considering to end your life, you may also want to reconsider it.)

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Photography: Cris Pangan (Circa 2008)


Speaking of life, I’ve recently changed my career path. While I do love fashion and graphic design, the real reason why I’ve decided to take an art course was because I wanted to work in the anime and manga industry.

Anime style wasn’t really encouraged in Fine Arts, so I think I somehow lost it in the process. I started taking projects in the other fields I was drawn to. I enjoyed them and eventually, it seemed too late for me to shift back to my original plan. I may always look confident but I have a destructive level of perfectionism, so even though other people would sometimes praise my works, I just didn’t think they were ever enough. I had a bad habit of throwing my works away before they were finished. I wasn’t satisfied (on personal standards), so I stopped something which I used to love doing, which is drawing. I didn’t draw for a decade. (Yeah, such a long slump. lol)

But lately, just watching Loon and other artists who are really passionate for it brings me pleasant memories. It reminds me of my childhood days when I used to draw daily and how enjoyable it felt back then. That’s why I decided to grab a pencil again. I want to live my life with no regrets.

echoes C
Photography: Cris Pangan (Circa 2008)

To be honest, I wasn’t expecting much from it. I thought it would be hard from this point, because I have to start from scratch again. That’s why when someone wanted to purchase the first artwork I managed to complete, I felt overjoyed and hopeful. Upon gaining more projects and getting even busier than before, it felt like a dream. I didn’t expect to gain everything so quickly. I didn’t even expect any result at all. Sometimes, we really have to take the risk to reach out for more happiness. It’s not a reason to stop learning though. At this point, there’s still so much to catch up on. I will also strive to manage my time to fit other things that I want to do, such as cosplay.

By the way, for my birthday this year, I really want to thank Loon for making it special. Despite telling her that I have no need to celebrate, she still bought me a cake. I thought I was able to convince her that the body massage was already enough as a gift and not to get me anything else, but upon arriving at her place in Cavite, I still received a gift.

Yeah, her gifts are lowkey telling me to draw more. lol

(Note: I wasn’t able to update my blog last month. Aside from being busy, one of my cats unfortunately passed away, so I was really down and I didn’t feel like saying anything at all. It’s really sad to experience this just before my birthday. Everytime a cat dies, it really shatters me. For now, I don’t really want to talk about the details.)

cats · fashion · food · life · musings · photographs · travel · Uncategorized



I’ve been staying at Loon’s place longer than usual this month. Aside from a lot of things going on, this is due to her plans to renovate her room. When she told me about it a few months ago, I quickly threw in some ideas. Anything that has something to do with designing excites me. And well, when you are too meticulous and your girlfriend needs to have her room painted, you make some time and paint it yourself!

I already have a bit of experience when it comes to painting walls since I painted my own room (with my father) last year. It’s a fairly simple thing to do. And I really insist on doing it myself because as much as I’d want to hire someone else, it’s hard to find people who pay attention to small details nowadays. I randomly find myself staring at little crooks and paint slips and they somehow drive me crazy. (lol) I get the urge to retouch them everytime I see some wherever I go.

Loon also lent a hand and it took us a couple of days to finish everything. It was supposed to finish within 1-2 days but the seller seemed to give us the wrong type of paint, so some areas took a bit longer to dry than expected. That’s why we weren’t able to go out for a date on Valentine’s. (We expected the heavy traffic anyway, so there’s that too.) Though, it didn’t stop us from doing something to celebrate.


The tradition continues! This year, when Loon asked me what I wanted for Valentines, I thought of something challenging that she hasn’t tried making yet: chocolate lava cake. What she made tasted so heavenly~ She used four types of chocolates to make it. The chocolate lover in me is so pleased.  She also baked some pasta and garlic bread that were so delish~

On the other hand, she asked me to make something simple: custard pudding. Despite being a simple dessert, I wanted to make it more special than usual. I first considered incorporating some flavors, toppings, and designs (to be more extra lol), but in the end, I decided to stick with the original type since it brings out its charm the best. It was my first time to make it, so I was somehow expecting the consistency to be a failure. When I took it out of the mold, I was delighted to find out that it turned out a lot better than I expected. To top it all, I’m so glad Loon loved it too. 


We weren’t able to watch the dragon dance this year. I didn’t pay much attention to them in the past, but Loon finds them cute and she always looks forward to watching them every year. They are indeed lively and colorful and fine to see! Too bad we were not updated with the schedules. Gotta plan it earlier next year.

Shirt says “GLORIOUS” ❤

By the way, I was born in the year of the tiger (*gasp* huge clue~). When Loon looks up stuff about horoscopes, I enjoy reading them too. I don’t believe in the supernatural but it’s fun to have some sort of interest on things like that. Compared to religion and ghosts, I believe they somehow have a liiiitle bit more scientific basis, in terms of gravitational pull maybe.


We’re taking them one by one. This time, it’s Hide’s turn to get neutered. He was being rowdy lately so Loon decided to get his balls snipped. (lol)


We were allowed to watch the sedation part. We were surprised about how quickly the injection took effect (a few seconds!). I always thought it took a lot longer than that, maybe 30min or so like the tablets.

By the way, Hide is behaving now and he’s back to his sweet and calm self. (lol)


food · life · musings · photographs · random · Uncategorized

Eat, Drink, and Be Scary

August is almost over and that means Xmas my birth month is coming up. The exact date is still a secret though. ;p This year, I have so many plans and I hope everything pushes through.

As for my age, people keep on asking about it but I’ll also keep it to myself. A year ago, I started having a few strands of gray hair. At first, I had unsure feelings about it but then, I realized, “Hey, this actually looks cool. I can rock this.”. Actually, I had been planning to get gray highlights way back, so the fact that they haven’t multiplied by now somehow disappoints me. lol

August 2
Hello, hooman!

It might not be noticeable but lately, I also lost a lot of weight. When I  weighed myself last month, I was down to 39kg, 6kg below my usual weight, and is the lightest I’ve been as an adult. Last time I was this light was around 10 years ago. 45kg, my ideal weight is still way too low for my height (according to the charts, that is). However, I don’t want to be any heavier than this. I love this weight and how it makes me feel. I’d be happy gaining back the usual. So far, I’m 41-42kg, so it’s just a couple more kg to go.

Back in my youth, being underweight used to be one of my greatest insecurities. Aside from being affected by the norms, I always got teased about it too. As I grew up, I realized that there’s nothing wrong with myself. I eat normally and I rarely get sick. I just happen to be one of those people with a fast metabolic rate. In fact, one of the reasons why I prefer having a homebased job is because I can munch on something anytime I want. (Yep, I’m eating something right now too. lol) I can’t eat large portions at once so I easily get hungry. (Don’t invite me to all-you-can-eat buffets. It’s not worth it.) I like eating small to medium portions several times a day. Anyway, learning to be comfortable with myself helped me improve in a lot of things.

August 1.jpg
I love the new palette of my room.

Since I’m trying to gain back my weight lately, I’m also getting back to cooking.

I love different kinds of pasta and fried rice.

By the way, check out my fabulous new plates! A few weeks ago while I was out for some errands, I passed through the home section and these instantly caught my eye. They are so pretty, right? I got them at an incredibly low price too. I don’t think I’ll want to use these to eat though. I would love to, but I also don’t want them to get ruined so I’m keeping them for now.

Maybe I should buy another set. lol
anime/manga · cosplay · fashion · musings · Uncategorized


It’s been a while! Unfortunately, I had to go MIA for a couple of months due to a little sickness, work, and some room renovations. Despite my inactivity, I do appreciate being invited to be a judge once again in a cosplay event in my hometown. When Rhei asked me about it, I thought it over since I have a terrible sleep schedule. At the moment, it’s falling asleep on dusk, getting up around midnight, and going back to sleep in the morning until noon. I had been wondering if I could go out and socialize at all. This was also the reason why this post was delayed. I was physically drained and fell asleep as soon as I got home *old people probs* I kept on dozing off while I was trying to update. lol Anyway, let’s get started! Here’s the event poster:

Photo credit: Hydrogenesis

Before anything else, I just want to say that I’m really glad to have these kinds of events in Olongapo. Back in 2004 when I started cosplaying, there wasn’t anybody else here I could relate to. The following year, an old friend, Gibs, gave it a try and did so well at the craft. (I kinda expected this level from him though since we used to draw a lot back in highschool and he was already amazing when it came to arts.) Although I wasn’t here when Otaku Maru started, I had seen it flourish since I got back from Japan around 2011-2012. This organization had humble beginnings, starting their events in a small outdoor space and eventually growing into a much bigger one. Nowadays, the events are usually held at Harborpoint, which is not only more spacious but comfortable as well. There are lots of skilled cosplayers too. Many of them already migrated to Manila and abroad, but still, a lot of promising ones remain and I’m proud of it. (And hah! I’m such a proud Olongapeño, if that’s not obvious yet! lol)

This year, I judged the event with Lenorf and Mitchelle, who travelled all the way from Manila. Glad to have them both!

With Lenorf and Mitchelle (Mitchaki). I love how we’re all wearing black and white. lol  Photo credit (R): Lenorf

While waiting, I spent most of my time chatting with Kelcey. I’m so happy she decided to attend.

With Ghost Kelcey. She’s the one who cosplayed Tsubasa in our A-rise group before.
(L)Soma and his gf, Jamee, helped to organize the event and made sure that everything went smoothly.   (R)I also met a lot of people I know but due to my shaky hands, most of the photos were blurry. I didn’t bother taking more later on. lol   Photo credit: Andrea

Here are our selected winners for the competition. (Third, Second and First Place, respectively). What do you think?

Third Place.   Photo credit: Hydrogenesis
Second Place.   Photo credit: Hydrogenesis
First Place.   Photo credit: Hydrogenesis
Finally, a photo with all the cosplayers who joined.   Photo credit: Hydrogenesis

And yep, I didn’t cosplay. I just don’t have the time to create a new one yet. A lot of people were asking about my character (I even got comments about DRRR!!) but lol it’s just me and my usual clothes. I think it was another great opportunity to wear some things I always wanted to wear from my closet. I still have a lot and I rarely go out! *hikikomori probs*

Photo credit: Kelcey. Thank you for always taking great fashion snapshots!

Outfit details:
White shirt (Funky♡), Black shirt (Knick Knack), Long cardigan (Black Peace Now), Pants (Rococo), Shoulder bag (Bodyline), Other bag, Shoes, Hat, Scarf, Necklace(Unbranded)

I was torn whether I should go for a classic Ouji attire or something more casual with a similar feel. I decided to go for the latter since I wanted it to be more effortless, comfortable and easy to wear. Plus, I have more clothes under this category anyway.

I would like to send a lot of thanks to Loon, for helping me with the outfit. I think I like this better than my first plan.

gamaliel paz 2.jpg
“I’ll always come home to you.”   Photo credit: Gamaliel Paz

Lastly, to the organizers and everyone who had been a part of this event, most of all, to Hydrogenesis and Otaku Maru, thanks a lot!

fashion · food · life · musings · photographs · travel · Uncategorized

Bohemian Treehouse Getaway

At the end of 2016, I had been feeling down and some friends had been worried about me (Sorry.). Ricah decided to pay me a visit after new year. (She had been considering the idea since last year anyway.) I suggested a convenient nearby hotel but she opted to book something more interesting. She said she needed a change of scenery too.

She found a Bohemian-inspired treehouse near my town. Since I rarely go out of the house, I didn’t have any idea on how to go there so we took a cab straight to the place after having lunch.

boho-final-xsI wore something light and casual to suit the relaxing ambiance. (Thanks to Ricah for taking these pictures. #snowfallphotography lol)

ricah-boho-final-xsCheck out Ricah’s outfit too. Sadly, we weren’t able to take photos together.

in-xsHere’s the view inside and outside the room. (Hey look, a black cat!) I just took these photos through my mobile phone listlessly so some of them are blurry. I should stop being lazy. lol

decor-sSome of the interesting details I found around the place. This makes me miss our Still Life classes. Ah, good ol’ days.

out-xsTop: More photos outside.; Bottom: The treehouse at dusk.

food-xsLunch at Harborpoint. Most establishments were closed because of the holidays.

In the end, I was not able to relax at all. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m not used to going out with other people or the fact that I only got an hour of sleep or less. But still, I’m glad that Ricah invited me to stay in this wonderful place. Thank you!

cats · fashion · life · musings · photographs · random · Uncategorized

Friday the 13th

When I woke up in the afternoon today, I thought how fitting it could’ve been if I started my blog on this day instead. Friday the 13th and black cats seem to go well together. Too bad I often lose track of the date as I rarely check the calendar. lol Anyway, what’s done is done. I hate dwelling on things that cannot be changed. To make up for it, I’ve decided to work on something else on a whim. I’m not really sure if I can finish it within the day and I’m not fond of making things impromptu but hey, how about doing it once for a change?

Because it’s Friday the 13th, let me show you a few of my favorite cat items. ♥

I love this top because it brings me back some memories. It’s the one I wore when I had a photo taken with Versailles. ♥


Top and Bottom: I bought them from some random shops at Harajuku 5 years ago. Still loving them.; Middle: A gift I received from Loon last year. It goes so well with my bag. So cute.♥ I will only use this on special occasions.


Bonus: Another Harajuku find. I wasn’t able to take a new photo because it’s so limp now (I hug it too much ok lol)

Hope you had a great Friday the 13th!

fashion · life · musings · photographs · random · Uncategorized



Welcome, humans. After a long time, I’ve decided to go out of my lair.

Although I believe I’m not good when it comes to writing, some friends and clients kept on convincing me to start a blog. Anyway, I’ll just keep on typing what comes to mind.

To keep things a little bit more organized, I made this space to compile my photos and things that I will create from now on. This is a personal blog so everything will be about me; thoughts, beliefs, ideas, interests, photos, progress, randomness.

I rarely go out of the house and I don’t socialize much but I love dressing up, so you can expect a lot of outfit posts. It may not look like it but I enjoy eating and ocassionally going to random places too so you may also see a little bit of them.

It’s been over a decade ever since I maintained a Livejournal account and perhaps even longer since I had a public blog. My random musings, which may seem a little too long for Facebook, will get posted here as well.

Despite my tight schedule, I am planning to update this at least twice a month. I hope that this somehow increases my motivation to achieve my goals in mind, which is to move and to be more productive. I want to make every minute count.

Recently, I came across a quote which summed up my driving force.

The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.
– Mark Twain

It might seem far-off my point but I can relate when I try to look at it in general terms. Even during my inactivity, I always thought that I could create a lot of great things. I have plenty of ideas. I felt frustrated everytime I procrastinated due to my perfectionism and anxiety. I realized that no matter how much capability a person has, being stagnant and not being able to apply it to reality is a lot worse than someone who can only produce mediocre things but tries and improves. I want to take advantage of the aspects of life that I can reshape and hone. As an artist, I want to keep on creating things. And from this point, I’ll start another chapter.